Surrendering the flag

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 3:13-14

​​Have you ever approached relationships like you’re trying to win a war? 

Maybe you expect everyone is trying to take advantage of you. Maybe you feel like you have to be right and “win.” Maybe you act defensively toward feedback and see life as a competition. 

I get it. Relationships are hard, and it’s natural to want to protect ourselves. But let me tell you, that approach doesn’t usually lead to good endings when it comes to the people we care about.

Often, that urge to control everything and everyone around us is rooted in feeling out of control somewhere in our past.

When you take the time to reflect on your past, you might see a younger version of yourself who felt the need to protect your heart. 

Or maybe you’d see yourself as a kid who was taught to fight to win in your relationships, no matter the cost. 

You can’t rewrite your history, whether it’s filled with joy or pain—but you can change the way you see it. 

Instead of worrying about going back and winning past fights, focus on understand how they’ve shaped you so that you can move forward with wisdom, grace, and a renewed sense of purpose. 

God wants to help you write a story of redemption, healing, and hope. Trust Him to guide you as you lay down your flag, leave behind what needs to be left behind, and press on toward the goal He has for you.

Do you react with defensiveness, anger, or annoyance when your spouse or partner asks something of you? 

Do you often perceive others’ comments as criticisms? 

How can you begin to lay down your weapons and start writing a new chapter in your story?